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Personal Conduct to Minimize Violence
Follow these suggestions in your daily interactions with people to de-escalate potentially violent situations. If at any time a person's behavior starts to escalate beyond your comfort zone, disengage.
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DO
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DO NOT
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- Project calmness, move and speak slowly, quietly and confidently.
- Be an empathetic listener: Encourage the person to talk and listen patiently.
- Focus your attention on the other person to let them know you are interested
in what they have to say.
- Maintain a relaxed yet attentive posture and position yourself at a right angle
rather than directly in front of the other person.
- Acknowledge the person's feelings. Indicate that you can see he/she is upset.
- Ask for small, specific favors such as asking the person to move to a quieter area.
- Establish ground rules if unreasonable behavior persists. Calmly describe the
consequences of any violent behavior.
- Use delaying tactics which will give the person time to calm down. For example,
offer a drink of water (in a disposable cup).
- Be reassuring and point out choices. Break big problems into smaller, more
manageable problems.
- Accept criticism in a positive way. When a complaint might be true, use statements
like "You are probably right" or "It was my fault." If the criticism seems unwarranted,
ask clarifying questions.
- Ask for his/her recommendations. Repeat back to him/her what you feel he/she is
requesting of you.
- Arrange yourself so that a visitor cannot block your access to an exit.
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- Use styles of communication which generate hostility such as apathy, brush off, coldness,
condescension, robotism, going strictly by the rules or giving the run-around.
- Reject all of a client's demands from the start.
- Pose in challenging stances such as standing directly opposite someone, hands on hips or
crossing your arms.
- Avoid any physical contact, finger pointing or long periods of fixed eye contact.
- Make sudden movements which can be seen as threatening. Notice the tone, volume and rate
of your speech.
- Challenge, threaten, or dare the individual. Never belittle the person or make him/her
feel foolish.
- Criticize or act impatiently toward the agitated individual.
- Attempt to bargain with a threatening individual.
- Try to make the situation seem less serious than it is.
- Make false statements or promises you cannot keep.
- Try to impart a lot of technical or complicated information when emotions are high.
- Take sides or agree with distortions.
- Invade the individual's personal space. Make sure there is a space of three feet to six
feet between you and the person.
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