Eggs on the Wing
First Scenario
Charlie Pendergast is sitting at the breakfast table happily reading the morning paper while his wife, Gloria is cooking up some bacon and eggs. Charlie, suddenly looks up from the paper and asks rather flirtatiously, "Oh Dear, when are those eggs going to be done." Gloria interprets his tone (flirting) as positive attention and responds in like manner, "Here they come now, sweetie," and brings Charlie a nice plate of bacon and eggs, and gives him a big kiss.
Second Scenario
Charlie Pendergast is sitting at the breakfast table, face buried in the morning paper, while his wife, Gloria, is cooking up some bacon and eggs. Charlie, obviously irritated, verbally assaults Gloria with, "Oh DEAR, when ARE those eggs GOING TO BE DONE?!" Gloria interprets his tone (impatience) and feels hurt and unappreciated. She slowly turns, fire in her eyes, and says, "Here they come now... DEAR!" and throws the plate full of eggs down on the table in front of him, and stomps off to the bedroom.
You'll notice that, in both cases, the content of Charlie's message was exactly the same. However, due to the tone of his voice and his body language, the relationship set up between the two in the second scenario differed greatly from that established in scenario number one. Consequently, Gloria gave Charlie a vastly different response in the second scenario. In the first scenario, Charlie sent a positive relationship message. In the second scenario, the relationship message was very negative. To Gloria, how Charlie sent the message had far more impact than what he said.
Remember, you get what you give. When communicating with another safety committee member, it's not what you say, it's how you say it. When you experience someone reacting negatively to something you've said, it's probably because you may have somehow sent a negative relationship message.
Knowledge Check Choose the best answer for the question.
5-3. In the Two-Level Communications Model, if someone responds negatively to something you have said, it could mean _____.
You forgot to answer the question!